I know I just made a post a few minutes ago, but this was too much. We have this section in our weekly paper called “Opinions.” In Opinions, there is a section called “TOWN TALK.” Town talk is basically a phone number that people can call anonymously and grip about their problems, frustrations and complaints about our town. There are occasionally some good things posted, but the majority are general negative items. This one was just posted today and by far is the best I’ve seen in a while. Instead of confronting people in your yard, just call in a message to the paper like this:
For people who just decide they’ll go into people’s yards and start picking up nuts without asking permission, I hope the lady who just left my yard reads this. Her and some kids decided to come in my yard without asking and pick up nuts. The kids started getting in a fight in my yard, and I’m not having that in my yard. You didn’t even ask permission to come in and pick up nuts. How rude. Next time, ask. And nobody else who walks past my house and sees something to eat laying in the yard, like apples or nuts or something, instead of helping yourself to them, why don’t you ask the people who live there if you could have some? That’s what you’re supposed to do.
If this wasn’t funny to you the first time through, then read it again, this time while pretending that you’re reading “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handey. That’ll be sure to put a smile on your face.
Carmine
October 29, 2008
Lady, I think YOU’RE nuts!
Oh, and yes- very Jack Handey-ish!